Being a Mother

I will never regret being a stay at home mother. Why many will ask well it's the fact that materialistic world could never be glamour enough for me to leave my children.
As a mother one who raises you souley has a reward only God can give. You have tried my patience, you have seen me cry, you have made me proud and you have given me more faith than any job could give.
Islam has told us mother's that:
while we are preg until we finish breastfeeding we are fighting in the way of God and if we die in such a state we will have the reward of a martyr.
When we go through child birth all our sins are forgiven.

Marriage for the brother

Marriage the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAWA)

To our Brothers

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

I will be separating this blog into two parts one part I will be writing to the brothers and in the second part I’ll write to the sisters. I feel to keep the blog on track this is the best way to do so. I’ll discuss the sunnah of the Holy Prophet (SAWA) in regard to marriage. I’ll inshaAllah try to answer these very important questions that can help the Holy Prophet's (SAWA) ummah.  What was his (SAWA) marriage like? Are there any hadiths in regards to marriage? Who did he marry and in what condition was the woman? Why did the Holy Prophet (SAWA) marry so many and for what reason? What kind of example was he (SAWA) trying to give to the brother in each of his (SAWA) marriage? How should our brothers treat marriage?

I’ll start off with a beautiful hadiths the Holy Prophet [s] said: "Any young man who marries at the beginning of his youth, his devil moans and intensively regrets that he has protected two-third of his Faith from Satan."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 221

The Holy Prophet (SAWA) was married to Bibi Khadija from age 25 to age 50. He married ten more wives from age 50 to 63. The Prophet (SAWA) did not marry these women for looks nor did he marry all them to bare his children. He married them for the religion of Islam, for an example to our men. Lets be honest with ourselves now a days men don't want to marry a woman who is older or widow or someone divorced and especially someone who has had children from a previous marriage. These woman are outcasted and no one helps them to get married if they want. I’m not saying all brothers are like this but most are materialistic.

Brothers have you forgotten that the Prophet (SAWA) married Khadija who was widely known to be 15 years older than him… What about Bibi Sawdah bint Zam‘ah,  Bibi Zaynab bint Khuzaymah and  Bibi Umm Salamah to name a few these 3 women were widowed and some more than one husband before the Prophet (SAWA)... Some of the other women were ‘Ãisha bint Abu Bakr who was barren.  Bibi Umm Habibah reverted to Islam as her husband stayed a Christian so the Prophet (SAWA) married her so she’d be safe. Lady Zaynab bint Jahsh, she was a cousin of the Prophet (SAWA); and she was a widow and a divorcee. As you see The Prophet (SAWA) married these types of woman. I see all to much woman who have been divorced maybe from a bad previous marriage or because she choose Islam and her husband didn’t not get re married because no one wants to marry her to their son or the fact that the men don’t want someone who had been previously married. The ummah has way too many women and men who are not married mainly do to the fact that the standard of marriage is set beyond what the Prophet (SAWA) said to look for in a spouse. Faith, one’s religion should be one's main look when finding a wife.

In modern times, the criteria for selecting a marriage partner tends to focus mainly on materialistic traits such as: wealth, beauty, social rank, character, etc. The Holy Quran, however, enjoins Muslims to select partners who are good and pure. Allah (swt) states, “Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity"[24:26]

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion and morality.  The Holy Prophet (SAWA) said "Do not choose a wife for her wealth or beauty. Her wealth will cause her rebellion, and her beauty will cause her corruption. You must consider her faith and religiousness for marriage" [Mustadrak al-Vasa'il, On Marriage Ch. 13]

Brothers who are trying to find a spouse please sit back and think of which woman would the Prophet (SAWA) want you to marry. Would he (SAWA) be pleased with how many men are older and not married. I’m not saying unwedded men are because you brothers are having high standards to your spouse selection, I know very well that the women play a huge role in the brothers not being able to find a spouse.

I will address the women as well in my next blog so please stay tuned for the next one by following my page. I hope that if both men and women see the issue that lies within their own self that we can turn this issue around.

InshaAllah Allah SWT helps all you to find the right spouse one that will be kind and grant you all you rights. A virtuous wife who will be the pleasure and a comfort to you. Ameen.

What is hijab?

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

Hijab what does it mean? Does hijab have more meaning then just a head scarf? Why has Allah asked us to keep modest and does modesty lie only in the hijab? Whats enough and whats to little? These among many other questions is what some of us don't know or maybe its the very question that hasn't be satisfied with an answer to the many not wearing hijab. I will attempt to explain the reasons to why, to ware we should wear hijab and to how much. I'll also discuss if hijab only lies in the meaning widely known to many as just a simple head covering. If Allah SWT wills I will be able to also do a simple justice to why Allah has made it wajib on man and woman to wear hijab.

When I write this I write and remind myself first before anyone else. I will first explain to my dear readers that I have come from a life with no modesty, with out hijab. I am more than aware of the issues that lie in covering up. Wearing hijab comes from obeying Allah first then truley understanding why makes us ascend to a higher level of purity. Perfect female role models in our history to name a few are bibi Khadija (SA), bibi Fatima (SA) and bibi Zaynab (SA). Perfect male role models to name a few Prophet Isa (AS), Prophet Muhummad (SAWA) and Imam Ali (AS).

First I want to start off by saying modesty doesn't lie just within the clothing we wear but it is very much in our hearts, our minds, its upon our tongues and from our eyes to our ears. All our body parts have a right upon us that we must feel obliged to respect those rights and having modesty is a great right. Hijab has not been put on us to have hardship but if one feels that it is hard then we should take that as a blessing that the harder we strive to obey Allah the more reward He will give inshaAllah. Hijab has been sent to us so we keep ourselves for our spouse, so that we are not put in public view as a sex object. Allah has ordered us to remain modest for ourselves, it only benefits us as a whole. It is not fair that we must show our bodies off to everyone to be "in". Freedom as some may perceive it to wear what we want (shorts, tank tops etc.) but how has this giving us freedom when all it did was chain us to our beauty and not be seen for whom we are. Wearing hijab has made me more of a human then a sex object. This is hard for woman especially because we are made to believe and grow up thinking we need to be beautiful in ever place. Woman thrive to look beautiful but there needs to be a proper outlet for this action, being done for ones husband is this proper outlet. Uncovering has turned woman against each other becoming envious and jealous. Hijab as all know it is a head scarf that covers ones hair and is drawn over the chest of a woman. I will share the verse from the Quran to explain:

24:31

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their head covers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.

I will also attach a tafseer upon this verse as I feel it is greatly needed. It is a lot to go through but it must be read for understanding and for some not to say "this Quran verse is not for these days."

Thus, in this verse, the women's duties and responsibilities are mentioned; first, it refers to the ones that are like the men's responsibilities and duties when it says:

"And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their modesty,..."

Therefore ogling is forbidden to women as it is to men. As all men are obliged to veil their pudendum, all women are also obliged to veil their pudendum from the eye of other women and men.

Then in three sentences the issue of veil, which is the women's characteristics, is referred to:

1) "... and do not display their adornment except that which is (ordinarily) apparent of it,..."

Upon the purpose of the adornment which women must not display, as well as the visible adornment which women are allowed to display, mentioned in the verse, commentators have stated different ideas.

Some of them say that hidden adornment is the very natural adornment (women's beautiful body), whereas the Arabic word /zanat/ has rarely been applied in this sense.

Most of commentators have considered it as the place of adornment, because the display of adornment itself such as ear-rings, bracelet, and armlet is not forbidden. But displaying where they are used such as ears, neck, arms and hands is forbidden.

Therefore, women totally are not allowed to display their adornments that are usually hidden, although their limbs are not shown. Consequently showing special ornate clothes that women wear under their usual clothes or veil (chador) is not permitted, because the holy Qur'an prohibits the display of such adornments either.

In many traditions narrated from Imams of Ahl-ul-Bayt (a.s.) we see the same matter that the interior adornment, in Arabic, is interpreted as 'Qalladah' (necklace), 'Dumlaj' (armlet), 'Khalkhal' (anklet).[1]

Moreover, since in many numerous Islamic narrations, the apparent adornment has been interpreted as ring, eyeliner, and so on, we see that the purpose of interior adornment is also the adornments that are hidden.

2) The second ordinance that is brought up in this verse is:

"... and to draw their veils over their bosoms..."

The Arabic word /xumur/ is the plural form of /ximar/, which originally means veil, but it is usually applied to the thing with which women veil their head (scarf).

The Arabic word /juyub/ is the plural form of the word /jayb/, that means the collar of a shirt which is rendered to the

throat and it is sometimes applied to the upper part of the breast, because it is located near it.

It is understood from this verse that before the revelation of this verse, women wore their scarf in a way that they put their scarf behind their head so that their neck and a part of their breast were visible. The Holy Qur'an enjoined them to wear their scarf in a way that that part of their neck and breast that are visible to be veiled.

3) In the third ordinance both the cases in which women are allowed to unveil themselves and display their inward adornment are specified. The verse says:

"... and not to reveal their adornment save to ..."

They must not display their adornment except in twelve instances:

1. To their own husbands("... their own husbands ...")

2. To their fathers("... or their fathers ...")

3. To their husbands' fathers("... or their husbands fathers ...")

4. To their sons("... or their sons ...")

5.To their husbands' sons("... or their husbands' sons ...")

6. To their brothers("... or their brothers ...")

7. To their brothers' sons("... or their brothers' sons...")

8. To their sisters' sons("... or their sisters' sons ...")

9. To their women("... or their women ...")

10. To their slaves("... or those whom their right hands possess (their slaves)...")

11. To those who do not have desire for women("... or the male attendants void of sexual stimulant... ")

12. To kids who know nothing of pudendum("... or the children who know naught of women's nakedness ...")

4)Finally the fourth ordinance is stated in this way, saying:

"... And let them not stamp their feet (in walking) so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment..."

Women must be so exact and strict in observing chastity and avoiding affairs which kindle lust in men's heart and may cause deviation from the path of chastity that they must withdraw from letting strange men hear their anklet sound. This indicates how exact and precise Islam is in these affairs.

In the end of the verse, all the believers, irrespective of men and women, are invited to repent and return to Allah, where the Qur'an says:

"... And turn unto Allah all together, O' believers, in order that you may succeed."

If they have committed such sins, now that the facts of the ordinances of Islam are explained, they must repent their wrong actions and go to Allah for salvation and deliverance, because successfulness is found only with Him. On our way there are slippery slopes from which no one can be saved, and we must trust to Allah!

The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) said about the commentary of the Qur'anic sentence: /'ilia libu'ulatihinna/ (save to their own husbands): "Allah has cursed those women who do not apply cosmetics to their hair and face for the sake of (their) husband or do not fulfill what the husband demands."

Source of tafseer http://www.coiradio.com/library/library/quran/light/light_11/024/31.htm

As we can see from this tafseer that woman and men have a duty to stay modest. They both must cover certain areas and they both must lower their gaze. Some may ask why do woman have to wear hijab, men are allowed to wear whatever? This is not so as you can see men must cover curtain areas as well. Lets be honest with ourselves may we, woman are more beautiful than a man (sorry brothers) but it is fact. Allah created us to be beautiful. A mans hair and neck are not very attractive honestly. Woman's beauty is a emanation from Allah SWT and with such privilege we must obey Allah and only show it to those who are halal to us. But remember men are not allowed to wear just whatever, if something normally in your society is seen to attract opposite gender then it is haram for you to wear. Men are to also be modest and cover what naturally attracts women. 

Next is social media is one of the biggest culprits to us not being modest. How? Well I will shoot off a few things here that one may do or say that is not hijab. I have seen women and men posting selfie pics of themselves, I'm not sure as to whom they are trying to attack by doing so... Give the benefit of doubt that these pics are completely innocent. If so what about the ones where the man has no shirt on and looks as if though he's going to the beach in his room.... Was this man trying to look good for his fellow brothers? What about the fact that this exact person has sisters on his social media who has now just sinned because of you. Or the woman who is in full hijab and lovely modest clothing but then she does a selfie with her duck face and make-up to galore. The sister in niqab how modest can you get right? But then she has pics of close up selfies on her eyes that have been beautified with kohl, and yes kohl to many is halal but when you do it that dark and all around your eyes giving yourself cat eyes does that make it hijab? Our intentions plays one of the main role in hijab. I don't know what your intentions are but it looks pretty clear. It is more scary when you see these such pics and then you have them saying "why are men always adding me or asking for my hand in marriage?" Really you don't know.... To those out there chatting with non-mahrams about God knows what in you private messaging and posting pics with these non-mahrams saying "how gorgeous you look." Shame on this man or woman that post such things and shame on the others with such comments that don't lower their eyes. Hijab is not there in such acts. Social media is like that of shaytan the weak ones are being pulled into such harmful environment. It has corrupted our youths and we have not done enough to show the harm in it. We have not done enough to show our youths that beauty lies from with-in, instead they are searching for this attraction from the opposite gender. We have not given them a place to turn to and truly learn how to obey Allah. We have t.v that portrays beauty and corruption from our own religious stations. We have said its alright to have bad culture before religion and our youths have been deceived by shaytan.

We all have tests in life, but striving to purify ourselves and obey Allah in all laws will bring us closer to Him. Shaytan doesn't want to see you succeed he is loving the fact that you are not obeying Him. Allah has said in Quran Verse (35:6) Surely, Shaytan (Satan) is an enemy to you, so take (treat) him as an enemy. He only invites his Hizb (followers) that they may become the dwellers of the blazing Fire.

I will end with that I wish that maybe my words can hit just one brother or sister and have them change from what Islam says is in-modest to modesty. I don't want you to grow up and in ten years regret what you've done, or worst yet never realize the harm and how you've disobeyed Allah.

I pray that all of you are successful and that we all try to purify ourselves. If you want to change take one step towards Allah and Allah will take many towards you. May Allah grant you all patience and open you hearts to obeying Allah. May He grant you all the ability to humble yourselves and accepting the truth inshaAllah. Ameen.