Marriage for the brother

Marriage the Sunnah of the Prophet (SAWA)

To our Brothers

Bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim

I will be separating this blog into two parts one part I will be writing to the brothers and in the second part I’ll write to the sisters. I feel to keep the blog on track this is the best way to do so. I’ll discuss the sunnah of the Holy Prophet (SAWA) in regard to marriage. I’ll inshaAllah try to answer these very important questions that can help the Holy Prophet's (SAWA) ummah.  What was his (SAWA) marriage like? Are there any hadiths in regards to marriage? Who did he marry and in what condition was the woman? Why did the Holy Prophet (SAWA) marry so many and for what reason? What kind of example was he (SAWA) trying to give to the brother in each of his (SAWA) marriage? How should our brothers treat marriage?

I’ll start off with a beautiful hadiths the Holy Prophet [s] said: "Any young man who marries at the beginning of his youth, his devil moans and intensively regrets that he has protected two-third of his Faith from Satan."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 103, p. 221

The Holy Prophet (SAWA) was married to Bibi Khadija from age 25 to age 50. He married ten more wives from age 50 to 63. The Prophet (SAWA) did not marry these women for looks nor did he marry all them to bare his children. He married them for the religion of Islam, for an example to our men. Lets be honest with ourselves now a days men don't want to marry a woman who is older or widow or someone divorced and especially someone who has had children from a previous marriage. These woman are outcasted and no one helps them to get married if they want. I’m not saying all brothers are like this but most are materialistic.

Brothers have you forgotten that the Prophet (SAWA) married Khadija who was widely known to be 15 years older than him… What about Bibi Sawdah bint Zam‘ah,  Bibi Zaynab bint Khuzaymah and  Bibi Umm Salamah to name a few these 3 women were widowed and some more than one husband before the Prophet (SAWA)... Some of the other women were ‘Ãisha bint Abu Bakr who was barren.  Bibi Umm Habibah reverted to Islam as her husband stayed a Christian so the Prophet (SAWA) married her so she’d be safe. Lady Zaynab bint Jahsh, she was a cousin of the Prophet (SAWA); and she was a widow and a divorcee. As you see The Prophet (SAWA) married these types of woman. I see all to much woman who have been divorced maybe from a bad previous marriage or because she choose Islam and her husband didn’t not get re married because no one wants to marry her to their son or the fact that the men don’t want someone who had been previously married. The ummah has way too many women and men who are not married mainly do to the fact that the standard of marriage is set beyond what the Prophet (SAWA) said to look for in a spouse. Faith, one’s religion should be one's main look when finding a wife.

In modern times, the criteria for selecting a marriage partner tends to focus mainly on materialistic traits such as: wealth, beauty, social rank, character, etc. The Holy Quran, however, enjoins Muslims to select partners who are good and pure. Allah (swt) states, “Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity"[24:26]

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) recommended Muslims to select those partners who are best in religion and morality.  The Holy Prophet (SAWA) said "Do not choose a wife for her wealth or beauty. Her wealth will cause her rebellion, and her beauty will cause her corruption. You must consider her faith and religiousness for marriage" [Mustadrak al-Vasa'il, On Marriage Ch. 13]

Brothers who are trying to find a spouse please sit back and think of which woman would the Prophet (SAWA) want you to marry. Would he (SAWA) be pleased with how many men are older and not married. I’m not saying unwedded men are because you brothers are having high standards to your spouse selection, I know very well that the women play a huge role in the brothers not being able to find a spouse.

I will address the women as well in my next blog so please stay tuned for the next one by following my page. I hope that if both men and women see the issue that lies within their own self that we can turn this issue around.

InshaAllah Allah SWT helps all you to find the right spouse one that will be kind and grant you all you rights. A virtuous wife who will be the pleasure and a comfort to you. Ameen.